BEKI holds ’Gay Pride Shabbat’
By Stacey Dresner
In a move aimed at reaching out to members of the Jewish gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered (GLBT) community in the New Haven area, Beth El-Keser Israel (BEKI) held what was probably the first "Gay Pride Shabbat" ever held at a Connecticut Conservative synagogue last weekend.
The Shabbat was organized by BEKI members Rabbi Alan Lovins, Rabbi Lina Grazier-Zerbarini, Miryam Kabakov and Mara Benjamin.
"We are an urban congregation and I feel that we have, in Westville and our catchment area of New Haven, lots of Jews who are gay, or in other kinds of unconventional family set-ups, and they do not know that they will be really welcomed at a place like BEKI," said Lovins, a clinical psychologist and vice president of the congregation. "I thought there was no better way to send out that message than to do this."
Rabbi Grazier-Zerbarini, associate rabbi at the Joseph Slifka Center for Jewish Life at Yale, gave Lovins credit for initiating the Gay Pride Shabbat.
"He envisioned this as outreach to potentially unaffiliated gay folks in the New Haven area and I thought that was a great idea," she said. "BEKI is a wonderful place I think there are probably a lot of people - gay and straight alike-who aren’t aware of how warm, special and welcoming a place our congregation is - to everybody."
Rabbi Grazier-Zerbarini gave the D’var Torah during the "festive" Shabbat service held on Saturday, June 10. A panel discussion on homosexuality and the Conservative movement was held following the Kiddush. Lovins said that the goal was to make the service a celebratory one.
"It was a big decision to not raise this as a problem, you know -- what it is like to be Jewish and gay, and all the prejudice and the bigotry," Lovins explained. "That is not what Lina and Miryam wanted. What they wanted was to celebrate."
Open-door policy
Lovins and Rabbi Jon-Jay Tilsen, spiritual leader of BEKI, are both members of Keshet Rabbis, a group of Conservative rabbis who openly believe that, according to the organization’s website, "GLBT Jews should be embraced as full, open members of all Conservative/Masorti congregations and institutions...we affirm that gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Jews may fully participate in community life and achieve positions of professional and lay leadership."
Tilsen said he thought that BEKI should hold the Gay Pride Shabbat so that people in the GLBT community would know about BEKI and its open-door policy.
"Gay and lesbian people have always, as far as we can tell, been a part of our congregation. In the past few years, a number of people who are open about their gay, lesbian or bisexual identity have become visible and active members of the synagogue community..." he said. "It was felt necessary to make a public statement about this because gay and lesbian people are not fully welcome in some synagogues and we wanted to make it very clear about BEKI’s fully embracing gay and lesbian people. We want more gay and lesbian people to come learn, teach, serve and worship at BEKI."
While the Conservative movement has repeatedly stated that its synagogues welcome gay and lesbian members, many Conservative synagogues are not as openly accepting of gays and lesbians as BEKI.
In March, the Conservative movement’s 1992 ruling barring openly-gay Jews from the rabbinate and banning same sex marriages was reaffirmed. A new vote on the matter is scheduled for this December. Alan Lovins said that the main reason for BEKI’s inclusiveness is Rabbi Tilsen.
"He really is terrific. He is traditional and he has a lot of respect for Jewish law, but he cares about equality and equal rights. He is really just a good guy," Lovins said.
The Gay Pride Shabbat was, Lovins added, "another step to establish our identity as a place where everybody is welcome."